I think...

Therefore I think that I think that I think I am! (lol Mel)

I really don’t want to go to work. And no I don’t actually want to hang out with anyone after work. Because that way I can just sort of let myself be depressed as I am without a bunch of people asking whats wrong or me having to fake having a good time or whatever. I’ve been running from being sad and depressed for long I can’t keep the smile on for long periods of time anymore. I need to just sit and think about it for a while, find a way around it, before I can go back to pasting on my fake smile, my fake happiness, and my fake face. Whenever you see it, it’s not me. I wish it was, but people prevent me from being myself because to show them that side is to trust them, and trusting leads to hurt. I’m not good at trusting people. When I trust people, even just a little, they let me down. I just want one person to prove they’re not all the same…